care..
listen..
understand..
when it comes down to it,
when everythings done,
theres noone...
Monday, June 29, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
reasons...
not to:
1 promise
2 god
3 cookies
4 alcohol
to:
1 nightmares
2 pain
3 suffering
4 depression
5 hurt
6 dissapointments
7 hopelessness
8 same result
9 unacknowledged
10 unknown
11 twisted
12 broken
13 effort
14 bad
15 deserving
16 hollow
18 heartless
19 guilt
20 useless
21 mistakes
1 promise
2 god
3 cookies
4 alcohol
to:
1 nightmares
2 pain
3 suffering
4 depression
5 hurt
6 dissapointments
7 hopelessness
8 same result
9 unacknowledged
10 unknown
11 twisted
12 broken
13 effort
14 bad
15 deserving
16 hollow
18 heartless
19 guilt
20 useless
21 mistakes
Friday, June 19, 2009
!@#$%^&*()
fucking hell
a death, ive gotten used to....ive had to
on the other hand..
an untimely death, fuck
why the fuck doesnt it just happen to me
fucking hell
1 cut...
1 pill...
1 bullet...
is all it takes....
unfortunatly...that fucking promise...
fucking smart...
drzlbjzdlzjhb skldjgzlodjnbxlifcjz;dLGBK fuck!
a death, ive gotten used to....ive had to
on the other hand..
an untimely death, fuck
why the fuck doesnt it just happen to me
fucking hell
1 cut...
1 pill...
1 bullet...
is all it takes....
unfortunatly...that fucking promise...
fucking smart...
drzlbjzdlzjhb skldjgzlodjnbxlifcjz;dLGBK fuck!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
guilt....im sorry
'If I try to say anything, I'll only break this beautiful sculpture I've created so carefully.
Look, isn't she just fine, just great, so perfect?
Isn't she?'
-by the most incredible person I know
I'm sorry
I've done something horrible, the guilt I feel is....excruciating.....they say its not my fault....why would they say that...
they might view it as nothing huge, that...it's something that theyve experienced, they say it happens often, that I should forget it. but thats not going to help me....I'm sorry
I get the feeling that theyre getting more and more vulnerable as time passes, I could be wrong, time has taught me that things dont get easy, things get more difficult. so difficult to the point where your going to crack, break and just topple over. And yet that didnt stop me...I'm sorry
I wish I could change the world to better place, change it to heaven, because I know they would hate it if I sheltered them, protected them, even asking them to let me shoulder some of the weight on there shoulders. so makes sense to take the bad things away...I imagine heaven to a place where theres not a sign of anything bad.
but then again that would mean undeserving fucks like me would there, odd how things dont make sense...I'm sorry
but I cant change the world, or shelter them from the bad things, and it kills me inside, knowing, that I've done the opposite. I never wanted to...but....im just so fucked up, so fucking stupid....Im sorry
no matter what I try and do, I seem to always be so fucking selfish, fucking hell.
they told me what had been happening lately, and yet, I put myself before them, fuck.
what gets to me the most, is that during that time, it didnt occur to me until it was too late, not for one moment did I consider them, I just thought about myself and what I wanted.
I guess in the end im just another horrible human being. another selfish fucking human being....I'm sorry
odd, I've never regretting anything in my life, everything ive been through, everything ive done, ive considered it as 'i deserved it' , 'a life experience' , but this.....why do i regret it so much...I think about everything ive done, and I wouldnt change any of it, life is life, but if i were to go back in time and change 1 thing I had control over, this would be it....I'm sorry
they say theres nothing to be forgiven for. i think there is. i think god will forgive me, but i...i cant ever forgive myself. theres not enough times i can say 'im sorry' to convey how sorry i am...but i'll try anyway...I'm so sorry.
Look, isn't she just fine, just great, so perfect?
Isn't she?'
-by the most incredible person I know
I'm sorry
I've done something horrible, the guilt I feel is....excruciating.....they say its not my fault....why would they say that...
they might view it as nothing huge, that...it's something that theyve experienced, they say it happens often, that I should forget it. but thats not going to help me....I'm sorry
I get the feeling that theyre getting more and more vulnerable as time passes, I could be wrong, time has taught me that things dont get easy, things get more difficult. so difficult to the point where your going to crack, break and just topple over. And yet that didnt stop me...I'm sorry
I wish I could change the world to better place, change it to heaven, because I know they would hate it if I sheltered them, protected them, even asking them to let me shoulder some of the weight on there shoulders. so makes sense to take the bad things away...I imagine heaven to a place where theres not a sign of anything bad.
but then again that would mean undeserving fucks like me would there, odd how things dont make sense...I'm sorry
but I cant change the world, or shelter them from the bad things, and it kills me inside, knowing, that I've done the opposite. I never wanted to...but....im just so fucked up, so fucking stupid....Im sorry
no matter what I try and do, I seem to always be so fucking selfish, fucking hell.
they told me what had been happening lately, and yet, I put myself before them, fuck.
what gets to me the most, is that during that time, it didnt occur to me until it was too late, not for one moment did I consider them, I just thought about myself and what I wanted.
I guess in the end im just another horrible human being. another selfish fucking human being....I'm sorry
odd, I've never regretting anything in my life, everything ive been through, everything ive done, ive considered it as 'i deserved it' , 'a life experience' , but this.....why do i regret it so much...I think about everything ive done, and I wouldnt change any of it, life is life, but if i were to go back in time and change 1 thing I had control over, this would be it....I'm sorry
they say theres nothing to be forgiven for. i think there is. i think god will forgive me, but i...i cant ever forgive myself. theres not enough times i can say 'im sorry' to convey how sorry i am...but i'll try anyway...I'm so sorry.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
time =S
is time important?
does time truly exist?
ive heard that time is only relative.
ive heard that the stars are a window through time.
the concept of time wouldnt exist unless there was truth behind it.
time, in general doesnt matter, only everyones individual time. because in the end:
when u waste time, u waste your time
when u spend time, u spend your time
and if someone wastes your time, then its your fault for letting them waste it.
scattered thoughts...
does time truly exist?
ive heard that time is only relative.
ive heard that the stars are a window through time.
the concept of time wouldnt exist unless there was truth behind it.
time, in general doesnt matter, only everyones individual time. because in the end:
when u waste time, u waste your time
when u spend time, u spend your time
and if someone wastes your time, then its your fault for letting them waste it.
scattered thoughts...
Saturday, June 6, 2009
p
sometimes, even if the mind tries, the body cannot forget what was, its a very curious feeling in the perspective of ....scientific mind, but in the perspective of the person feeling these...emotions, its very difficult to deal with, very frustrating.
even after so much time has passed, its still them...how bizzare.
even after so much time has passed, its still them...how bizzare.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
sad eyes
seems everywhere i go there are sad eyes, wherever i turn, wherever i look...
sad eyes seem to follow me, no matter what i try to do...
theres no escape from the truth, no hiding...
sad eyes seem to follow me, no matter what i try to do...
theres no escape from the truth, no hiding...
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