not human

i always thought so.
i know for sure i once was.
but not now.
not anymore.
its always amusing to see how people define someone.
and today i was told.
someone finally had the balls to tell me.

--

there used to be a time where i would consider the things i did as experiencing life, but now, knowing the things i do, i know it was all lies.
ive wasted so much.
ive done so many wrongs.
i guess thats why im like this.
whats the point.
i guess people get what they deserve.

....

numb
red
dark red
slowly spilling
envy for the departed

distraction? pastime?

'an entertainment that provokes pleased interest and distracts you from worries and vexations.'

'a diversion that occupies one's time and thoughts.'

whats the difference.
both could be said about life.
life, the ultimate distraction, the ultimate pastime.
all, just to take peoples mind off the things that are really important.
how embaressing.

*

can'T be done
becoming less and less
a beTTer choice
no Turning back now

if only

'

• Should you find it hard to get to sleep tonight; Just remember the homeless family who has no bed to lie in.

• Should you find yourself stuck in traffic; Don’t despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.

• Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who has been out of work for the last three months.

• Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think of the person who has never known what it’s like to love and be loved in return.

• Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; Think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week, for 15.00 to feed her family.

• Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

• Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

• Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking “What Is My Purpose”; Be thankful. There are those who didn’t live long enough to get the opportunity.

• Should you find yourself the victim of other people’s bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; Remember, things could be worse. You could be them!!!

steps

1. Problem
2. Trying to find a solution
3. Facing the reality that there is no solution
4. Self loathing for being usless
5. More hatred
6. Death

Nutshell - Alice in Chains

We chase misprinted lies
We face the path of time
And yet I fight
And yet I fight
This battle all alone
No one to cry to
No place to call home

Oooh... Oooh...
Oooh... Oooh...

My gift of self is raped
My privacy is raked
And yet I find
And yet I find
Repeating in my head
If I can't be my own
I'd feel better dead

Oooh... Oooh...
Oooh... Oooh...

(Y)

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks then us.

The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks then us.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks then us.

The French drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks then us.

The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks then us.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

wow. cant believe i havent seen this one till now.

'There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life -- happiness, freedom, and peace of mind -- are always attained by giving them to someone else.'

-Peyton Conway March

brilliant

DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

By Dylan Thomas

`

~ One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope. ~

~

~to be selfish and take and be honest to myself with the result of stupidity...
~to be a coward and run and delude myself with the result of wisdom...

just a thought

'we see with our eyes, but we percieve with our minds'

everything
we do
we see
we experience
we feel
all end up in our minds.
....everything is just in our heads.

-

incentive: a positive motivational influence.

highly underestimated factor in life.

..

its starting to rain without clouds

=

new problems have risen
we blame so many problems on so many things
but we're to blame
the future seems like such a dark place
the way things are now will be worse
the problems will get bigger
and we'll keep pointing the finger
we havent learnt, we never will.
the day we do
is the day we stop being human